Geekdom has become a double edged sword. Once we lived in fear of the sunlight and “normies”. We fled to the sanctuary of basements, especially on Wednesdays, to gather and discuss our newly procured treasures, roll 20 sided dice and avoid the throngs of folk lined with pitchforks and torches prepared to lay down mob judgement. We banded together, watching each others backs and to a greater extent the cache of comics and Magic: The Gathering card strategically hidden throughout schools, homes and churches. Nuns lay down the law worse than all others.Then came the internet.

We once gathered around water coolers slurping down cans of Jolt cola, discussing how Mulder and Scully totally banged after an alien was apprehended. I believe. Then came the CB simulator and later IRC. These computer wonders spawned newer, better and more user friendly ways to chat online. AOL gave birth to mass chat to the general public. And it all went to hell from there. Instead of worrying about someone in school spilling the beans about who killed Laura Palmer you had to avoid the Twin Peaks chatroom until you saw that episode. There lay the personal responsibility. Mark Zuckerberg really screwed the pooch for people on that one. Having to take hiatus from checking for responses to the pictures you posted of what you just ate or a meme of a cat that looks grumpy you previously tossed up. Why even bother living? Why continue without a thumbs up and, “Like?” Why do I bring up such a verboten subject? Well… lemme lay this on you.

The Walking Dead. Where do I begin. The (currently) most popular show on cable television about surviving a zombie apocalypse. A concept that began roughly 50 years ago with George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, now widely known to the general masses having been very saturated in the past few years. People who never cared to see a horror movie, let alone a zombie movie are now much more prevalent. Horror fans haven’t had this much to discuss with non horror fans since folk watched Tales From the Crypt to see the occasional bare breast. Understand that it makes life for the residents of Geektown a bit easier to cope with those who they wouldn’t normally associate. With that comes a price. The Walking Dead has zombies which is great, but the zombies are also the MacGuffin. If you put these characters, which come from many different walks of life together in any other situaltion, the outcome would be roughly the same. Breakdown explained on the recent popularity of zombies concluded. Let’s get the meat of the reason we got into this article to begin with.

Have you ever had your posterior masticated? In the vernacular what I’m asking is if you’ve ever had your ass chewed out? Recently this gnawing, which affected me in a few ways, happened over a joke spoiler about a plot point of The Walking Dead. I can see how those who don’t not know me well enough didn’t pick up on my ruse. Not getting my sense of humor, some could have assumed I actually divulged a legitimate plot point. Having falsely stated the death of a major character (with a humorous photo of that actor attached) would come across as a majorly inconsiderate thing to do. Having posted something else with the attached picture about their affection for Hello Kitty seemed to me as a fine give away that this post was a complete lie. Having upset responses coming from as far China I felt bad for fooling my friends, but once they actually watched the episode understood I was just being a bit of a wiener and was kidding. Especially since I did a follow up post explaining the whole thing. Then came the thorn in my side. Someone I met once, never spoke with again or became chummy with tried to tear me a new one. Someone I now wouldn’t pee on if they were on fire. Don’t be nonchalant about who you friend on Facebook kids. Going as far as yelling at other actual friends who responded to my prank, I was called an effing POS. Even after I apologized I was… wait for it… defriended. That one cut deepest of all. For those who may not be picking up on my sarcasm (which I can understand can be missed when written rather than spoken) I am being sarcastic.

The lesson to take away from all of this is to not spoil things others may wish to find out on their own. Finish reading to the end of an entire post. Make sure you don’t friend a friend of a friend just to be pseudo polite. And learn how to take a damn joke before laying judgement. That last one I can not emphasis more than enough. Life’s too short to waste on petty things that make no difference in the big picture. I love all of you that can get aboard that train and ride it to the last station. The rest may masticate my posterior. That said, I leave you with this. Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Verbal is actually Keyser Soze, Tyler Durden isn’t real and Rosebud was the name of his sled. Soylent Green is made of people. People.